Hooray! Spencer can lie!

Ironic. It always catches me off guard when i realize just how much my perception of achievement has changed since Spencer has come into my life. Victories aren't really about being the best when it comes to my boy. I've become better equipped at finding complete pride in his smallest accomplishments. Some parents measure the success of their own child in terms of whether or not they are keeping up with all the other children on the playground. I hear parents say things all the time that demonstrate this very fact. Many of these statements go something to the effect of--"My daughter can count to 50." "My son knows all his shapes and can draw them all by himself". "My child scores 3 goals at his soccer game last night". I've been that parent that compares my child to others, especially when it comes to my daughter Kennedy. Those days are now over.

Its actually very liberating. When you accept your child for who they are, limitations and all, you have no need to set the bar so high. It no longer matters if you are keeping up with the "Jones's". This becomes much easier, once you reestablish more obtainable goals for your child. Its the whole icing on the cake theory. You support and guide and hope for the best, and anything that exceeds your dreams is just icing on the cake. It makes life much easier and you stop mourning for what could be.

Spencer has many "icing on the cake" moments. Recently, he proved that he is becoming very successful at many of the things that I wondered if he would ever be able to achieve. Prime example occurred a few days ago. I discovered that my son can lie. To be honest, I could not be more proud. Lying is an incredibly difficult concept for kids with severe language delays to learn. Generally, he is just focused on getting by with the words he has, always trying to understand what is being asked of him. Conceptually, to grasp the idea of telling an untruth can be pretty much impossible. Spencer is getting it though. While i recognize that this is not a quality i want to promote in him, i am pleased at the very least to know he CAN do it.

So, the story goes a little something like this. I was getting dinner ready and Kennedy was in bed as she was home sick with a cold. Spencer was helping me set the table and suddenly i hear "uhoh". I turn to see a whole bottle of salad dressing poured on the table. I then asked Spencer what happened. His response was "I no did it....Kennedy do it"!! I asked him again what happened and he repeated those words again with conviction and looking me straight in the eye. I almost laughed and cried at the same time. Fantastic! He's thinking outside the box....the deceptive box, but outside the box nonetheless. So yes, i did have to try to point out that lying is not okay and yes i did have to pretend to be a little disappointed, but in the end I was jumping for joy inside.

The wonderful thing about all of this, is that as Spencer grows, so does his Mom. He makes me see things from such new perspectives. He makes me see the world through his eyes. He makes me a better Mom. He makes me appreciate the small things in life. Cake with icing.....it doesn't get any better than that.