Say it with me kids....PER-SEV-ER-ATE

Per·sev·er·ate - to repeat something insistently or redundantly.

My son....that little love of my life has many gifts. Some of those gifts bring a smile to my lips, some make me thrilled beyond words, and and there are those few gifts that make me want to rip my own ears off. :) Spencer has been blessed with the wonderful gift of perseverating. For those of you that don't know what that means....refer to the oxford definition above. My stubborn little man doesn't like to let things go. Sometimes, I believe he doesn't know HOW to let those things go. As a result, he often says things over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.. Annoyed yet? My point exactly. Prime example....the other day Spencer woke up and by bed time, he had asked to go to Blockbuster Video 67 times!! Yes i actually counted....gave me something else to focus on besides cursing out Blockbuster for its very existence. Perhaps now you understand why i occasionally want to rip my ears off!

The great thing about this journey is that i have learned about a few of my own gifts. I AM a patient person. I can parent in ways that are creative and motivate my kids to do well. I by no means am perfect by any stretch, and goodness knows i have had my occasional stark raving mad parenting moments. I have really learned to shift my thinking, and see the brighter side of these tiny "quirks". I prefer to see it as a boy who is persistent, refusing to give up, standing strong and knowing what he wants. While dealing with this behavior can be a challenge to say the least, it definitely keeps me on my toes and forces me to find really amazing ways of helping Spencer move on from his fixation. I have learned to do crazy dances, have amazing tickle fights, play tag and hide and seek again. All of which, are fantastic strategies for distracting him from his want of the moment. Simply saying no,...or later...does not always work. Given that i am a parent who does not just give in to every whim, these tactics have been blessings for both of us. It doesn't always have to turn into a win lose situation. I don't always have to be the big controlling boss. The other great thing is that it is transferring over to my daughter. I am finding my patience with her as well.

My boy has a long memory, one that retains the tiniest details. He remembers the good, the bad and the ugly. As a result, we need to really protect him from what he sees and hears. He recalls information from months and months ago, remembers directions to far away places after only travelling there one time. He remembers numbers in ways that are astonishing, and can pretty much recall every single house number of every house we have been to. He recalls slogans from commercials ...to the point that we can't drive by Maple Leaf Chicken without those famous words being uttered from the back seat...."Because we care". So, i have learned to smile alot and embrace this little gift. Its one of those amazing things that make my son so amazing.
He is incredibly bright, smart and very intuitive for a boy of five years.

I'm realizing that being the kind of person that sees the glass as "half full" is not so bad. Seeing it as "half empty", only means I am acknowledging all the things that are missing or lacking in one way or another. I can't be of that mindset when it comes to raising my son. I cannot constantly be reminding myself of all the things about him that aren't the same as everyone else. It serves no purpose and will eventually just give him the message that what he has to offer is less than the norm. I NEVER want Spencer to feel "less than"....not ever. I must look at him as having these "added" or "extra" traits, all of which just enhance who he is as a person. Somedays, i literally stare into his eyes and wonder what its like to have some of these abilities. Wonder how his brain works the way it does, and can be so different from another child's. But you know what? Different isn't bad....its just...different. It must be frustrating for him some days. I am sure he would like to let alot of these things go if he could. I KNOW he would. Somedays i wish i could take it for him....use my words to say those things over and over....use my voice to give him a break. The reality is, some days i can see that it makes him tired.

Thankfully we don't have many days where i want to rip my own ears off. He is making improvements....huge gains that make him proud. I dare to even say that he is getting a little more flexible in his thinking. I said a "LITTLE"....not "ALOT". Writing that makes me smile, because i realize that i really don't need to be greedy when it comes to his progress. You learn to love and accept whatever gains you get. My boy....he makes me smile. It makes those tough days worth every single second.....