Siblings....that fine line between love and hate.

It's official.....I think my kids want to kill each other. Summer.....a time supposed to be filled with fun times, sun and relaxation. At our house though, i have the good fortune of being able to witness a new episode of WWF right here in my very own living room. In all seriousness though, I know my kids love each other. My son worships my daughter and thinks the sun rises and sets on her existence. My daughter can be protective and kind, sweet and generous with her time and attention when dealing with her little brother. There are those times though, when she really struggles to understand what its like to be Spencer. This is a very heavy load for any sibling of a special needs child to carry. In retrospect, i should have clued in when i brought Spencer home from the hospital and Kennedy said "How long is he staying for anyway?".

I find myself always trying to do the balancing act. Sometimes, i know she feels that he gets more attention. This is unavoidable. The reality is....he DOES need more attention. He requires and incredible amount of my time to accomplish some of the most basic of tasks. I understand why this is frustrating for her, and i am certainly understanding of why this would breed some resentment. Everything has always come very easy for Kennedy. She is incredibly bright, and is usually successful at most things she attempts to conquer. She is stubborn, strong willed, funny and a delight to have in my life. She has never struggled with making friends, and "fits" in wherever she goes. She amazes me with her abilities to be responsible, and has developed leadership qualities far beyond her nine years. She IS a force to be reckoned with....and has already established a clear understanding of what she will and will not tolerate from others. She has the ability to communicate her thoughts and feelings, and has no issue with asserting herself in this area. I absolutely love and adore this about her. She is the other "hero" in my life for all of these reasons.

So, back to the battlefield which is my living room. Huge lessons learned this summer. My kids need a little more space from each other. My daughter is just tired of dealing with her brother. Plain and simply.......she's fed up. Quite frankly, i am pretty sure he is sick of the sight of her too. So, with that said, i find myself looking inward. Reminding myself, that much of these conflicts are just "normal" sibling rivalry issues. Some of them are not. Some of them are completely in relation to Spencer and all the things that come with living with a child who requires extra support.

I remind myself that Kennedy is only 9, and that it is unrealistic to expect any 9 year old to be selfless, compassionate and tolerant all of the time. Children are not just born being patient and kind and selfless. SO while i teach my son all the things he needs to learn to get by in the world, i have had to create a whole other classroom in order to teach my daughter about being supportive and accepting. This is a work in progress.....something that will evolve over time. I find myself trying to structure activities for them, where they will find success and joy together as siblings. I cling to these moments, taking great joy in seeing them laugh and love each other. I hold these memories close to my heart, to get me though those times when i know that they are less than fond of each other.

For Kennedy, i attempt to create our "girl" times. Special time for just her and I. Time when she can talk, reflect and just laugh without us being interrupted by a brother who consistantly takes my attention away. The car......its become my favourite place to spend time with my daughter. Strange.....i know it sounds odd. I have had the best conversations with my daughter while taking a simple drive. On these journeys i have learned many things from my wise and wonderful girl. She has insight into the world, has big ideas about where she is going in life. She is inquisitive and opinionated.....all things i would not discover if i didn't take these special moments with her. I just wish I had more hours in a day sometimes...more hours to capture these special times, as well as to take care of Spencer in a way that will not compromise his progress.

So, I am the Mom of two children. Polar opposites in many ways. The best parts of me combined and all wrapped up in two amazing little people. While they don't always like eachother, deep down i know they do LOVE one another. As i find my way down this path, i continually remind myself how lucky i am, how blessed my life is to have them. I do this, as i know that sometime soon, in the near future, i will need to remember all of these wonderful things....because it won't be long until i hear..............that quiet little voice in the back of my mind that says.....
"Lets get ready to R-u-m-b-l-e!!"


P.S. Oh i forgot to mention, Kennedy and I are having an awesome girls night on September 6th. We are going to see Hilary Duff....7th row floor seats!!! Cannot wait!