How to embrace the gift of a simple insult....

Wow......Spencer is really spreading his wings. His defiant, challenging and oppositional wings at that. Part of me is sitting here with a slight grin on my face, when really i should be appalled and deeply offended. Over the last few months, he has found his rhythm around challenging me on the most basic of expectations. While we stumble over these little bumps in the road, there is some pride there for me that he is becoming strong enough to take a stand. While this does not excuse his behavior and I address each situation accordingly, I am pleased to see that he no longer feels like he always has to have everyone telling him exactly what he needs to do and how he needs to do it. My boy is getting stronger, more independent and yes like his mother, he is becoming a little bull headed.

Today, Spencer was annoyed with me when i would not let him paint the front of the fridge door. I know, i am cruel and unreasonable for thinking this was a slightly inappropriate activity. So, when politely told no, my boy ran upstairs to his room while stomping his feet up every step. (Note to self...Spencer REALLY likes to paint on appliances, and i am sure i will be revisiting this again tomorrow when he tries it again). So after a few minutes of cooling off, i went up to talk with him. The tricky thing is, when you have a child with a severe receptive/expressive language disorder, it can become extremely difficult to talk through issues. We do the best we can and muddle through. It can be very frustrating though when you want your child to understand why something is not safe or acceptable. Usually the reality is, it will take several...and i mean several times of rehashing the same issue until i can get him to understand a rule or expectation.

So, anyway, back to the tale of a mother's rejection. I approached him in his room, and initially he just gave me his very best 5 year old evil stare. Then proceeded to say "Mama you get out of this woom wight now....I no wanna be wif you no moe, I so mad at you". See for most Mom's, this would evoke a combination of anger, frustration and a low blazing fury. For me though, i could have burst with pride. So many words, all linked together to create one hell of an insult. Wow, there was a time when i prayed for him to just say "Mama". Now we have evolved to 22 words of pure power. Amazing, my son is turning into someone that is not a push over. Someone who is standing up for himself, using his voice to express his feelings and is not going to go quietly. Inside i smile when Spencer has these moments, and outside I do the usual Mama thing and tell him that while i am happy he is using his words, he needs to be polite and so on and so forth. Meanwhile in my brain, i count words, look at pronunciation, and sentence structure. One of those things that come along with being the Mom of a child with a language disorder.

I know over the next few years, i will need to be careful to teach him how to cope with his feelings and in turn express them to people who piss him off in a way that is more appropriate.. But, i am grateful to see his strong spirit emerging, and will need to be just as cautious to ensure i don't break him of that. He is developing a sense of pride, a sense of self......something i can totally relate to, and want to support in the healthiest way possible. And to think, i never thought being rejected by your child could feel so good. :)

P.S. As i was about to post this blog, Spencer came up with a rotten wilted dandelion from the yard. He proceeded to hand it to me and give me a kiss on the nose. The great thing about him, he can say sorry when he is wrong....something most adults struggle with on a day to day basis. Gotta just love my boy!