The Phone Book

Funny thing happened yesterday. I came home from work to be greeted by my little man at the door. He was so excited, smile from ear to ear. To be perfectly honest, he was jumping out of his skin. Wow, he really did miss me.....look how happy he is to see me. Right? WRONG!! Spencer was on cloud nine, losing his sweet little mind because the best thing happened to make it the perfect day. The new phone book arrived!!

Spencer told me how the big book came. "Mama, we got the new big book". I don't think he could have showed more teeth if he tried. I said, "I can see that we got the new phone book and you are very excited". Spencer proceeds to say "yes and it is so very yellow Mama". Just when i thought he couldn't smile anymore, he proved me wrong once again.

That phone book. Any phone book for that matter. It doesn't matter if it is a thin phone book, a thick phone book and one from another city. Every time i look at one of these everyday household objects, i am forever reminded of where this road began. It was the one thing that made me step out of denial, take a look at myself and really truly examine my son's difficulties.. Watching my little boy for hours with his very favourite thing, flipping page by page for hours. I remember those moments like they were yesterday. The distance, the quiet. Watching him while all the while wondering how i was ever going to figure out what was wrong and more importantly, where was i going to even start to begin to address these issues. I didn't like the phone book very much back in those days.

Yesterday, I can honestly say, I realized that I no longer hold ill will towards the phone book. It reminded me of how far we have come. Every year those books look less and less tattered and torn. It reminds me that it no longer symbolizes the silence. Seeing him with that brand new shiny book with the crisp pages, reminds me of how many other phone books he wore out on the road to where he is now. I have all the phone books that Spencer has ever used, strewn about my house. I will probably have them for many years to come. Every year though, we need them less and less. Now, he spends time looking at real books. Looking at the pictures, and listening without flipping pages. Big progress. I know in a few weeks the novelty of the newness will wear off and Spencer will be able to let it go. It makes me look forward to the December's to come. It makes me curious to know if the day will ever come, when Spencer will just use this book to find a phone number, or call for take out.

That night, Spencer settled off to bed with a kiss, and a hug, and his phone book tucked firmly into bed beside him. He is so precious, i swear he is a dream some days.


I told my Mom about this yesterday and we joked that I think Spencer will always have a
fondness for phone books.The day may come where he is settled down, has a job, is in a relationship or has his own place. I can just see him in bed curled up with his phone book at 40 years of age. We laughed about this. It makes me smile to think about my boy as a man one day. Regardless of where his journey takes him, I know one thing is for certain. He will surely know how to find the number for a cab company if he ever gets lost and just needs to find his way home.